DEPRESSION

Dear Stranger,

I seriously couldn't explain my depression to you

How I feel about the people around me

How I feel about the places i visit,
And about the places I'm not supposed to be at.

The dream i see

The situation i meet 

and most of all how i see myself,

How i take myself

and treat myself

The depression i feel is not that kind you see in Eminem's lyrics

or u hear from suicide's stories 

It's that you could possible say a synonym of sad

like you want to reach out all the places you wish you could 

to touch all the tiny flowers you wish you could

to talk to that one person you wish you could

the way you felt when you know they lied this time

when you know this not gonna last...

for every person you don't wanna lose but you know ....

when you feel sad for every tik-tok of the clock on your wrist..

about every sound you feel bad at 

about every sound you feel lovable at ..

that eternal desire for something real.

i don't know if the world haunts me or its me only

but something has taken over the optimist in me ..

felt like to cry for no reason around

but everything around in here ..

I remember the novel i read few months ago where you reach the end of the whole book but couldn't understand her reason of depression and then there'll be a point where you're crystal clear about it ...

I don't know if i am the one who prefer being like this or it's just everything around me ..

You simply cannot blame anything other or maybe you simply can ..

But at points i want me to dance around for some reasons and at some feels like .. simply lie on my bed under the blankets lights off and listening to the quiet around me ...

Its like when you're heart slows for a min 

And all you gotta be is silent..

Turn off the music listen to the quite..

play with the emotions inside you like play guitar 

its all an irony and the game of metaphors ...